Hidden costs of owning a Glider

My wifes responses to the top 16 reasons list.....
Brian

(Female rebuttal) to 16 Reasons why airplanes are easier to live with
than women
a.. Airplanes usually kill you quickly, a woman takes her time.

(response)But the death is much, much sweeter and you have a better
chance of survival
b.. Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch.
(response)find a womans switch and not only will she turn on but she'll
stay on and not stall
c.. Airplanes don't get mad if you do a "touch and go"
(response) Most of us are happy with any kind of touch. But I can
appreciate a quickie as much as the next gal.
d.. Airplanes don't object to a pre-flight inspection.
(response) If you call it foreplay, I won't object either
e.. Airplanes come with manuals to explain their operation.
(response) can't help you there. Be a student of me though and I'll
give you the answers
f.. Airplanes have strict weight and balance limitations.
(response) So do pilots but they seem to break those rules and blame it
on all of the extra equipment in the cockpit
g.. Airplanes can be flown any time of the month.
(response) So can we, it's the pilots that get all queasy with the
essential fluid leakage. Like we don't have to put up with yours every
time
h.. Airplanes don't come with in-laws.
(response) can't fight you there but pilots have them too and let's not
get started on momma boys
i.. Airplanes don't care about how many other airplanes you've
flown
before.
(response) don't ask and I won't tell. (about my past that is)
j.. Airplanes and pilots both arrive at the same time.
(response) start us earlier and we'd arrive with you
k.. Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplanes.
(response) look just don't touch, and don't compare us
l.. Airplanes don't mind if you buy airplane magazines.
(response) go ahead. Playboy is having a $1/magazine sale right now.
Just save me the articles
m.. Airplanes expect to be tied down.
(response) I'd like to be too so your point is?
n.. Airplanes don't comment on your piloting skills.
(response) it's called feedback and we are just trying to improve your
overall performance and skill rating
o.. Airplanes don't whine unless something is really, really
wrong.
(response) listen and respond to the whine or get parts blown up all
over the place, you're pick
p.. However, when airplanes go quiet, just like women, it's
usually
not good
(response) Yup