At last, the truth...

"Jay Honeck" wrote in message
news:qudMe.253023$x96.6077@attbi_s72...
Which begs the question: How can you be married to someone with whom you
can't share the passion for flight?

Because if you marry the right person, you don't HAVE to have similar
interests to get along. One reason I love my wife so much is that she
supports my love of flying despite the fact that it's not her "thing".

Also, there are marriages where guys relish activities that don't include
the wife or family. It is their territory and a place to escape to. Golf
comes to mind...Did you ever see the episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond"
where Deborah wants to do more things with Ray? "We don't do anything
together", she would say. So she suggested that she take up golf so that
they could play together. Ray was too scared to tell her the truth, that
this was his "territorial escape", so he went along with it. They are at
each other's throats when they reach the clubhouse. It's hilarious!

I have to say that I have really enjoyed reading this thread. In another
thread I expressed my ambivalence toward aviation because of how it doesn't
seem to be as family friendly as other pursuits. I have been struggling with
this tug between my family and flying and it has been good to hear others
expressing similar struggles with flying.

Flying is a complex, demanding, expensive avocation. As such, it's bound to
have severe attrition due to these factors. My personal account: I am now
just getting back into flying after about a 6 month hiatus. My father died
in March and I am the executor of his will. Flying was not the thing to be
doing during this time. I am just getting to the point where it has appeal
again because while I was grieving and settling family issues and talking
with lawyers and digging through the house that my parents built and arguing
with my brother and grieving some more, the thought of doing something
demanding to relax didn't seem right.

People's lives will change and sometimes aviation doesn't fit anymore. It
can be sad for us pilots to watch this happen from the outside, but we have
to remember that it's THEIR decision and it's best for THEM. Who are we to
judge their feelings about aviation and their reasons for giving it up?
There are times when being judgemental is required, but in my opinion, this
isn't one of them.

I have a friend who got severely lost during a cross country during his
training. Scared him to death and he quit once he got back on the ground. He
emails me pictures of planes all the time. He goes to air shows more than I
do. For him, aviation is very interesting, but not something he wants to DO.
He is the exception I would guess, the person who left flying for one,
singular reason. I suspect that for most folks, aviation dies a slow death,
suffocated by outside circumstances.

How to keep people in the fold? Get to 'em early. Take kids flying if they
want to. Let kids get into the cockpit and make noises. I think that there
is a aura around lots of airports that keeps people away, especially the
young ones. We need to be casual and accomodating about our flying so that
it's not so threatening or unapproachable.

-Trent
PP-ASEL

"Trent Moorehead" wrote:
Flying is a complex, demanding, expensive avocation. As such, it's bound to
have severe attrition due to these factors. My personal account: I am now
just getting back into flying after about a 6 month hiatus. My father died
in March and I am the executor of his will. Flying was not the thing to be
doing during this time. I am just getting to the point where it has appeal
again because while I was grieving and settling family issues and talking
with lawyers and digging through the house that my parents built and arguing
with my brother and grieving some more, the thought of doing something
demanding to relax didn't seem right.

Interesting, because that's the exact reason why I *continued* flight
training!

I lost my mother, who I was VERY close to. Just before she died, she
said: "You'll never look back and regret having spent time on your loved
ones; don't get to where I am and regret NOT having spent time on
YOURSELF!" (a regret she had). That was the inspiration for me to take
the demo ride. All the things you listed -- grieving, settling family
issues, talking with lawyers, then losing my father as well and digging
through, cleaning, separating, fighting over, giving away, selling
their things (what a heartbreaking task is that??), arguing with family,
and grieving some more -- brought me down so low that there was NO
escaping it EXCEPT if I went flying! Because it *is* so demanding, there
was no room for any of that other monumentally depressing stuff to creep
in ... so, demanding as it was, it was relaxing and exhilarating
compared to the alternative. For me, the flying is what got me through
that horrible time.

wrote in message
...
Interesting, because that's the exact reason why I *continued* flight
training!

I lost my mother, who I was VERY close to. Just before she died, she
said: "You'll never look back and regret having spent time on your loved
ones; don't get to where I am and regret NOT having spent time on
YOURSELF!" (a regret she had). That was the inspiration for me to take
the demo ride. All the things you listed -- grieving, settling family
issues, talking with lawyers, then losing my father as well and digging
through, cleaning, separating, fighting over, giving away, selling
their things (what a heartbreaking task is that??), arguing with family,
and grieving some more -- brought me down so low that there was NO
escaping it EXCEPT if I went flying! Because it *is* so demanding, there
was no room for any of that other monumentally depressing stuff to creep
in ... so, demanding as it was, it was relaxing and exhilarating
compared to the alternative. For me, the flying is what got me through
that horrible time.

I also belong to the "lost both parents club". Sorry for your loss.

I have learned that people grieve in different ways and it's all good. It
only gets bad when people neglect to do so.

-Trent
PP-ASEL