At last, the truth...

"Andrew Gideon" wrote in message
online.com...
[...]
So one doesn't need to be "just like" Jay to live a life like that.

No, I think Jose has it right.

While there are similarities between your life and Jay's, I have no doubt
there are significant differences too. For you to enjoy EVERY aspect of
Jay's life in the same way that Jay does, you WOULD have to be *just like*
Jay.

One merely needs to set up a life, and a life partner, that works like
that.

Most people do not have the absolute degree of choice that is implied in
such a misleadingly simple statement. Life is not so simple, and for most
of us who still have a deeply abiding passion for aviation, there are other
unrelated aspects of our lives that are also important. One does not
"merely...set up a life, and a life partner". Those things are not 100%
subject to a person's whim, nor can they necessarily be centered completely
around aviation (or any other one pursuit).

For anyone who does get such an aviation-oriented life, and is still happy
with all other aspects, that's great. But it doesn't always work out that
way. I don't have to think very hard to recall friends who "picked" a
spouse based on a single criteria, only to discover that they were
incompatible in a number of other ways.

My wife is only marginally interested in aviation (and yes, I suppose that's
part of the reason it's hard for me to remain involved), but there are a
wide variety of other aspects of our lives that are aligned extremely well.
I wouldn't trade her for anything, but even if I were so inclined, I
certainly wouldn't trade her for someone else knowing only that that other
person had the same passion for aviation that I do. There are too many
other things that could go wrong.

Perhaps for the rare person for whom aviation is literally THE only thing
they care about, nothing else might matter. For the rest of us, we do care
about things other than aviation, and life is a great (and I mean that in
the best way) compromise.

Pete

Peter Duniho wrote:

For anyone who does get such an aviation-oriented life, and is still happy
with all other aspects, that's great.Â*Â*ButÂ*itÂ*doesn'tÂ*alwaysÂ*workÂ*outÂ*tha t
way.Â*Â*IÂ*don'tÂ*haveÂ*toÂ*thinkÂ*veryÂ*hardÂ*to *recallÂ*friendsÂ*whoÂ*"picked"Â*a
spouse based on a single criteria, only to discover that they were
incompatible in a number of other ways.

I didn't mean to imply "a single criteria". We work together, so obviously
we've other common interests. More, we're sufficiently compatible so that
we *can* work together.

To me, this is natural. While my Mother didn't have a "career" outside of
herding us during my youth, I'd a set of Grandparents that had a thriving
business together at that time.

Yet we get a great many comments from visitors to our office that would
appear to indicate otherwise. Many would never work with a spouse. Until
I became used to this, it left me puzzled.

So I'm not recommending a "single issue marriage". Rather, I'm recommending
an "all issue marriage".

I apologize for being unclear.

- Andrew

"Andrew Gideon" wrote in message
online.com...
[...]
So I'm not recommending a "single issue marriage". Rather, I'm
recommending
an "all issue marriage".

I still feel that an "all issue marriage" is not a practical expectation.
It's not that it never happens, but it's an exceedingly rare situation.

Entire books can be (and have been) written on the topic of a successful
marriage, and I won't try to cover that very off-topic ground here. Suffice
to say, there are some things that are VERY important to a successful
marriage, but sharing each other's personal interests 100% isn't one of
them.

Pete

Peter Duniho wrote:

Suffice
to say, there are some things that are VERY important to a successful
marriage, but sharing each other's personal interests 100% isn't one of
them.

Right. My wife knits. The furnace room is full of yarn and we have knitting
books and patterns scattered through most of the house. It's sure cheaper than
any of my hobbies, and it makes her a quiet and appreciative passenger in a car
or plane. I have no inclination to pick up a set of needles myself.

Being able to accept and appreciate each other's interests is what's important.
Toleration is no good, because you look down on things you have to tolerate.

George Patterson
Give a person a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a person to
use the Internet and he won't bother you for weeks.