New Year weight loss plans ???

"Grumman-581" wrote

Well, that was the front brake and as such, I quickly did an end
over, followed quickly by a near face plant, followed soon thereafter with
choice cuss words directed towards the stupid ass dog...

You are not the only one to do a face plant because of a dog. My experience
was on pavement, at high speed, though.

I'll set up the picture... At the time, I was around 12 years old, and
rode my bike all over the place, in small town NW Ohio. On the way to one
of my friends house, there was a dog that was always out (German Shepard, I
think) and it always chase people on their bikes.

This house was on a hill (yeah, I know, a hill in NW Ohio? ) and a fairly
good sized one at that. I tried going slow, and kicking him away, using a
bike pump to bash at him, and then I figured I would outrun him. How'd that
work? Not too good!

I turned onto the road, and started pedaling as fast and as hard as
possible. I suppose I was gong 35 MPH or more, when the dog came out to
"greet me." The next events happened "real" fast, but I believe what
happened was the dog misjudged my speed and distance, and got out in front
of me, but *not* enough to avoid having me plant my front tire squarely in
his ribs.

It must have hurt, from the volume and amount of yelps he let out.
Fortunately for me, he also hurt enough that he went away to lick his
wounds, instead of messing with me. I was hurting from the impact with the
handlebars, then the impact with the road, then the tumbling and sliding
along the road. Fortunately, my wheel was round enough that it only rubbed
on my fender a little bit, (yeah, right, it almost didn't go around) and I
was able to ride the 2 or so miles home, to properly wash and dress my road
rash.

So, the moral of the story is, don't deal with dogs by using speed. Ammonia
in a squirt gun is better. g
--
Jim in NC

"Morgans" wrote:

It must have hurt, from the volume and amount of yelps he let out.
Fortunately for me, he also hurt enough that he went away to lick his
wounds, instead of messing with me. I was hurting from the impact with the
handlebars, then the impact with the road, then the tumbling and sliding
along the road. Fortunately, my wheel was round enough that it only rubbed
on my fender a little bit, (yeah, right, it almost didn't go around) and I
was able to ride the 2 or so miles home, to properly wash and dress my road
rash.

Heh... I just can't help but relate another of my goofy dog stories.

I was doing a training ride in rural NJ (yes, there is such a thing),
and was laboring up a long hill. On my right was a farmhouse, on land
that rose up to the house from the road, with the farmhouse "on top"
to my right.

The owner of the house and his German shepherd were in the front yard,
and the dog decided that I looked like a good target apparently... he
charged down the hill (from the house) at a perfect intercept vector
to put us both in the same place and time (he'd obviously done it
before).

I mustered up the best uphill sprint I could manage trying to mess up
the dog's trigonometry, but he had a good jump on me, and gravity
working for him rather than against him (like me).

The worst thing was the owner laughing hysterically at his clever
pooch's bad behavior.

As the dog was approaching fast from my right, he decided to jink just
on my side of a telephone pole. I chose that moment to bark at the
dog (I have a tremendous bark that will always stop/reroute any dog
chasing me). It caused ol' Fido to jink to the right in reflex -
which happened to be the very space occupied by a very large telephone
pole.

The dog dead-centered the pole at a dead run, and went down in a heap,
twitching. I continued my sprint up the hill, laughing at the dog's
owner now running down the hill to see how much damage his dog had
done to itself.

Some days you're the bug, other days you're the windshield...

Mark Hickey

"Mark Hickey" wrote

The dog dead-centered the pole at a dead run, and went down in a heap,
twitching. I continued my sprint up the hill, laughing at the dog's
owner now running down the hill to see how much damage his dog had
done to itself.

Some days you're the bug, other days you're the windshield...

LOL!!! I haven't laughed so loud at something on the internet in a LONG
time. Thanks!

I'll have to keep the barking trick in mind. It does seem like it should
work, and I also have a pretty good bark; guaranteed to make any dog stop
and look where the dog is!
--
Jim in NC

I'll have to keep the barking trick in mind. It does seem like it
should work, and I also have a pretty good bark; guaranteed to make
any dog stop and look where the dog is!

It really messes with them. As a young lad we had a neighbor with an
incessantly barking dog. Frustrated, I walked up to it with a bullhorn and
barked back. It gave me a quite confused look and walked away, never to
needlessly bark again.

Morgans wrote:

"Mark Hickey" wrote


The dog dead-centered the pole at a dead run, and went down in a heap,
twitching. I continued my sprint up the hill, laughing at the dog's
owner now running down the hill to see how much damage his dog had
done to itself.

Some days you're the bug, other days you're the windshield...


LOL!!! I haven't laughed so loud at something on the internet in a LONG
time. Thanks!

Yes, that is a good one. I've even seen a cartoon with a bug splattered
on a windshield that is funny.

Another one I heard that is in the same vein is...

"Some days you are the dog and some days you are the hydrant."


Matt

"Matt Whiting" wrote

Yes, that is a good one. I've even seen a cartoon with a bug splattered
on a windshield that is funny.

Question: What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind, as he is
hitting the windshield?

Answer: His butt-hole!

I know, go to your room, Jim! g
--
Jim in NC

Morgans wrote:
"Mark Hickey" wrote
Some days you're the bug, other days you're the windshield...
LOL!!! I haven't laughed so loud at something on the internet in a LONG
time. Thanks!
Yes, that is a good one. I've even seen a cartoon with a bug splattered on a windshield that is funny.

Wonder why the animal rights acitvist leave out the bugs' rights...
:^)

Wonder why the animal rights acitvist leave out the bugs' rights...
:^)

It's a size thing. The smaller the bug, the less anyone cares.

Just check out all the protections heaped upon King Crabs -- one of the
largest sea bugs.

Size matters...

;-)
--
Jay Honeck
Iowa City, IA
Pathfinder N56993
www.AlexisParkInn.com
"Your Aviation Destination"