A REALLY bad joke

("Mxsmanic" wrote)
Flying is a serious matter. Showing off and clowning are not appropriate
in the air.

Agreed. It's a bit like a doctor making jokes to a patient about whether
or not he'll survive an upcoming operation.


THAT WOULD NOT BE FUNNY!!!

(...well, a little funny)


Mont-little-black-bag

"Montblack" wrote in message
...
("Mxsmanic" wrote)
Flying is a serious matter. Showing off and clowning are not
appropriate in the air.

Agreed. It's a bit like a doctor making jokes to a patient about whether
or not he'll survive an upcoming operation.


THAT WOULD NOT BE FUNNY!!!

(...well, a little funny)


Mont-little-black-bag

Wasn't it Bill Cosby who did the routine about just going under the
anasthetic (sp?) when the surgeon says "Ooops..." ???

"What do you mean, oops? I know what I mean when I say oops, but what the
hell do you mean when YOU say ooops??"

Jay B

I think that was a dentist-not a surgeon.

mike

"Jay Beckman" wrote in message
...

Wasn't it Bill Cosby who did the routine about just going under the
anasthetic (sp?) when the surgeon says "Ooops..." ???

"What do you mean, oops? I know what I mean when I say oops, but what the
hell do you mean when YOU say ooops??"

Jay B

Jay Beckman wrote:
Wasn't it Bill Cosby who did the routine about just going under the
anasthetic (sp?) when the surgeon says "Ooops..." ???

"What do you mean, oops? I know what I mean when I say oops, but what the
hell do you mean when YOU say ooops??"

My CFI was very clear on the idea that I should *never* say "oops" when
I'm carrying passengers. Ever.

.... Alan

--
Alan Gerber
PP-ASEL
gerber AT panix DOT com

Alan Gerber wrote in
:

Jay Beckman wrote:
Wasn't it Bill Cosby who did the routine about just going under the
anasthetic (sp?) when the surgeon says "Ooops..." ???

"What do you mean, oops? I know what I mean when I say oops, but what
the hell do you mean when YOU say ooops??"

My CFI was very clear on the idea that I should *never* say "oops" when
I'm carrying passengers. Ever.

... Alan

OK. That reminds me of a pilot story...

I had two passengers from Atlantic City in an Arrow II. We were returning
at night from a trip to Harrisburgh (KMDT) (Hershey, actually). It was
about 10pm or so...

We were heading to Bader (AIY). We had been at 5000', and coming up on the
field (KACY off to the left) I began a descent. After about 500', I decided
to pull out a couple of inches of Manifold Pressure to keep it below 24"
RPM.

As soon as I touched the throttle, the tach went redline on the RPM, the
engine revved like I was taking off. This was my first experience of this
type, so I was taken a bit by surprise. Before I realized the words had
come out of my mouth, I said ---

"Oh, SH-T!!"

Immediately, both passengers grabbed onto the doorhandles for dear life.

For the moment, appeasing my passengers was low priority. I reduce the
throttle to about half, and was able to get a reasonable prop response. I
then called ATC (I was still on with Atlantic City Approach) and indicated
that I had an onboard emergency, and would like to land on their runway 13,
just off to my left, instead of proceeding to Bader. They cleared me to
land and asked me the nature of the emergency.

By this time, I had noticed that the oil pressure was low, and so I told
them that I had the plane in a stable descent, had a low oil pressure
indication, and should be OK to make an easy landing on their Rwy 13.

He asks me, "Do you want me to roll the equipment?"

I say, "No, we've got it under control."

He says, "We're gonna roll the equipment anyway. They could use the
practice, and are probably bored anyway."

Sure enough, two fire trucks, a few ambulances, and a couple of police cars
followed me after an otherwise uneventful landing (actually, quite a
greaser!) down the runway and taxiway to the FBO. The engine actually
responded fairly well until we stopped the plane. Evidently, a seal had
leaked in one of the gaskets and I was left with about 3 quarts.

I'm not a mechanic, but as it was explained to me that when I adjusted the
throttle, after pretty much staying in the same spot for 90 minutes or so
enroute, the oil in the prop governer went back into the engine, and the
result was that there was not enough oil left in the prop governer to
govern the prop properly. (Say that 10 times fast!)

Incidentally, one of the two passengers has flown with me since, and the
other one hasn't, but did say he would fly with me again if the opportunity
presented itself...


It didn't take long for this story to be spread among everybody in our
industry. But somehow, no one really talks about how nice the greaser was,
or how I took command of the situation and landed us safely.

Nope, they mostly talk about my most memorable reaction to the problem in
the plane...

"Oh SH-T!!"

THE first indication of an oil problem is a run-away prop on
a single-engine with a typical constant speed prop. The
prop governor is just a high pressure oil pump and control
valve that must be supplied with engine oil under pressure
and with adequate volume. If the engine oil galleries and
lines are not full of oil, the governor will not work. On a
multiengine airplane, the prop will feather.
The prop, on a single, becomes fixed pitch and the throttle
controls rpm just like it was a solid fixed pitch. The
engine will run just fine as long as it has oil, but a
ruptured line or gasket will dump the oil and you don't know
exactly what is happening, so land ASAP.

Another story... When I was a student pilot, the FBO also
did completions on "green" MU2s that were very nice. They
had one that was being done for some Arab oil baron, with
solid gold fixtures, rare wood trim and the cost was over
$500,000 when a King Air was about $400,000 [long time ago].
The plane was finished and the company test pilot took it
out for a final acceptance test flight. Shortly after
take-off the pilot called the tower to report a problem and
get a quick landing, he did not use the word, emergency. He
was calm and spoke using his best "airline pilot voice."
The tower cleared him to land on any runway and asked him to
repeat his message. They asked him again. After the
uneventful landing the tower asked him to come up to the
tower.

The tape went like this... "Capitol tower, Mitsubishi 12345
has some cock in the smoke pit." This was repeated several
times, word for word, with out having any screaming, voice
inflections or emotions.



"Judah" wrote in message
.. .
| Alan Gerber wrote in
| :
|
| Jay Beckman wrote:
| Wasn't it Bill Cosby who did the routine about just
going under the
| anasthetic (sp?) when the surgeon says "Ooops..." ???
|
| "What do you mean, oops? I know what I mean when I say
oops, but what
| the hell do you mean when YOU say ooops??"
|
| My CFI was very clear on the idea that I should *never*
say "oops" when
| I'm carrying passengers. Ever.
|
| ... Alan
|
| OK. That reminds me of a pilot story...
|
| I had two passengers from Atlantic City in an Arrow II. We
were returning
| at night from a trip to Harrisburgh (KMDT) (Hershey,
actually). It was
| about 10pm or so...
|
| We were heading to Bader (AIY). We had been at 5000', and
coming up on the
| field (KACY off to the left) I began a descent. After
about 500', I decided
| to pull out a couple of inches of Manifold Pressure to
keep it below 24"
| RPM.
|
| As soon as I touched the throttle, the tach went redline
on the RPM, the
| engine revved like I was taking off. This was my first
experience of this
| type, so I was taken a bit by surprise. Before I realized
the words had
| come out of my mouth, I said ---
|
| "Oh, SH-T!!"
|
| Immediately, both passengers grabbed onto the doorhandles
for dear life.
|
| For the moment, appeasing my passengers was low priority.
I reduce the
| throttle to about half, and was able to get a reasonable
prop response. I
| then called ATC (I was still on with Atlantic City
Approach) and indicated
| that I had an onboard emergency, and would like to land on
their runway 13,
| just off to my left, instead of proceeding to Bader. They
cleared me to
| land and asked me the nature of the emergency.
|
| By this time, I had noticed that the oil pressure was low,
and so I told
| them that I had the plane in a stable descent, had a low
oil pressure
| indication, and should be OK to make an easy landing on
their Rwy 13.
|
| He asks me, "Do you want me to roll the equipment?"
|
| I say, "No, we've got it under control."
|
| He says, "We're gonna roll the equipment anyway. They
could use the
| practice, and are probably bored anyway."
|
| Sure enough, two fire trucks, a few ambulances, and a
couple of police cars
| followed me after an otherwise uneventful landing
(actually, quite a
| greaser!) down the runway and taxiway to the FBO. The
engine actually
| responded fairly well until we stopped the plane.
Evidently, a seal had
| leaked in one of the gaskets and I was left with about 3
quarts.
|
| I'm not a mechanic, but as it was explained to me that
when I adjusted the
| throttle, after pretty much staying in the same spot for
90 minutes or so
| enroute, the oil in the prop governer went back into the
engine, and the
| result was that there was not enough oil left in the prop
governer to
| govern the prop properly. (Say that 10 times fast!)
|
| Incidentally, one of the two passengers has flown with me
since, and the
| other one hasn't, but did say he would fly with me again
if the opportunity
| presented itself...
|
|
| It didn't take long for this story to be spread among
everybody in our
| industry. But somehow, no one really talks about how nice
the greaser was,
| or how I took command of the situation and landed us
safely.
|
| Nope, they mostly talk about my most memorable reaction to
the problem in
| the plane...
|
| "Oh SH-T!!"
|

"Jim Macklin" wrote in news:JnXah.1960
:

THE first indication of an oil problem is a run-away prop on
a single-engine with a typical constant speed prop. The
prop governor is just a high pressure oil pump and control
valve that must be supplied with engine oil under pressure
and with adequate volume. If the engine oil galleries and
lines are not full of oil, the governor will not work. On a
multiengine airplane, the prop will feather.
The prop, on a single, becomes fixed pitch and the throttle
controls rpm just like it was a solid fixed pitch. The
engine will run just fine as long as it has oil, but a
ruptured line or gasket will dump the oil and you don't know
exactly what is happening, so land ASAP.

Yeah - the way it was explained to me was that springs push the prop to full,
and oil pushes the prop back to govern the RPMs. But as you say, once I know
the oil pressure is low, it's time to pull over and get it checked out..

The tape went like this... "Capitol tower, Mitsubishi 12345
has some cock in the smoke pit." This was repeated several
times, word for word, with out having any screaming, voice
inflections or emotions.

THAT is funny!

THE first indication of an oil problem is a run-away prop on
a single-engine with a typical constant speed prop. The
prop governor is just a high pressure oil pump and control
valve that must be supplied with engine oil under pressure
and with adequate volume. If the engine oil galleries and
lines are not full of oil, the governor will not work. On a
multiengine airplane, the prop will feather.
The prop, on a single, becomes fixed pitch and the throttle
controls rpm just like it was a solid fixed pitch. The
engine will run just fine as long as it has oil, but a
ruptured line or gasket will dump the oil and you don't know
exactly what is happening, so land ASAP.

-----much snipped for brevity---------

Most, but certainly not all, hydraulically controlled constant speed props
will fail to their finest pitch position if oil pressure is lost. There
have been exceptions--there was a high performance kit plane (I forgot the
name) which had the prop spring loaded the other way, such that any governor
failure would leave the porp in coarse pitch.

I have no idea how any of the auto feathering props on turbo-prop engines
really work, and therefore I don't know whether they would require oil
pressure to feather. However, I have not personally heard of any feathering
prop on any reciprocating engine which does not require oil pressure to
feather.

Peter

Judah writes:

Nope, they mostly talk about my most memorable reaction to the problem in
the plane...

"Oh SH-T!!"

Those are the final words on most CVRs, too.

--
Transpose mxsmanic and gmail to reach me by e-mail.

"Montblack" wrote in message
...
("Mxsmanic" wrote)

Agreed. It's a bit like a doctor making jokes to a patient about whether
or not he'll survive an upcoming operation.


THAT WOULD NOT BE FUNNY!!!

(...well, a little funny)


Hell, they've made a TV show about just that. "House"