Lost a friend today

wrote:
I've never cared for the "went out doing what they loved" line
either. Dying sucks no matter how you look at it or how it happens,
whether you smash into the ground in a plane, or fade away in a
hospital bed. Every person that dies leaves behind people who liked
them, loved them, and even a few that hated them. Its better to throw
a wake and celebrate the life that they had, and openly state that you
will miss them, than to try to somehow justify what happened. Just
admit it sucks, face the pain of losing them, and celebrate the fact
that you were fortunate enough to be part of their life.


People use that line because they don't know *what* to say. There are no words
that are adequate for the situation so people try to come up with something that
at least won't add to the pain. They feel like they have to say *something*.

I wouldn't be too hard on someone who made such a comment. Really all he is
doing is expressing condolences.



--
Mortimer Schnerd, RN
mschnerdatcarolina.rr.com

I wouldn't be too hard on someone who made such a comment. Really all he is
doing is expressing condolences.

Agreed. There is often nothing good to say, so you say whatever
sounds good at the time.

We have sadly attended three funerals for pilot friends this year.
The first one happened in the coldest possible weather, the lines
wrapped around the funeral home, and the survivors were a beautiful
young wife and two little kids. It was heart-breaking, and NO ONE
said "he died doing what he loved", at least not when I was there.

The second funeral (for a couple) was completely different. They had
no kids, and were in their 50s, and the funeral was quite small. They
died together, left few survivors, and EVERYONE was saying "at least
they died doing what they loved".

Funerals are as different as weddings. Same as any social event, it
all depends on the folks involved...

Personally, I'd much rather die in a plane wreck than in an old-folks'
home, but the devil is in deciding WHEN. I've seen old age steal
everything from people, leaving them worse than dead, but it all
happens so incrementally that no one -- least of all you -- knows it's
happening.
--
Jay Honeck
Iowa City, IA
Pathfinder N56993
www.AlexisParkInn.com
"Your Aviation Destination"

Mortimer Schnerd, RN wrote:
wrote:
I've never cared for the "went out doing what they loved" line
either. Dying sucks no matter how you look at it or how it happens,
whether you smash into the ground in a plane, or fade away in a
hospital bed. Every person that dies leaves behind people who liked
them, loved them, and even a few that hated them. Its better to throw
a wake and celebrate the life that they had, and openly state that you
will miss them, than to try to somehow justify what happened. Just
admit it sucks, face the pain of losing them, and celebrate the fact
that you were fortunate enough to be part of their life.


People use that line because they don't know *what* to say. There are no words
that are adequate for the situation so people try to come up with something that
at least won't add to the pain. They feel like they have to say *something*.

I wouldn't be too hard on someone who made such a comment. Really all he is
doing is expressing condolences.



Just to clarify a bit in case it needs clarification;

In my post above dealing with the way many of us in the demonstration
community feel about losing a pilot; this is just the way WE deal with
this situation and in no way would we ever even consider "putting down"
someone else who expressed sorrow in their own way.
I just wanted to make this absolutely clear to everyone.
Dudley Henriques

--
Dudley Henriques