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A little humor....



 
 
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  #1  
Old September 19th 08, 04:14 PM posted to alt.binaries.pictures.aviation
Canuck[_2_] Canuck[_2_] is offline
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First recorded activity by AviationBanter: Aug 2007
Posts: 143
Default A little humor....

1. Every take-off is optional, every landing is mandatory.
2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the
stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick
all the way back, then they get bigger again.
3. Flying is not dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous!
4. High speeds are not dangerous. Coming to a sudden stop is dangerous!
5. It is always better to be down here, wishing you were up there, than
up there wishing to be down here!
6. The only time you have too much fuel on board, is when you are on fire.
7. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the airplane, used to
keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot
start sweating.
8. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided
with the sky.
9. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great'
landing is one after which they can use the airplane again.
10. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to
make all of them yourself.
11. You know you have landed with the wheels up if it takes full power
to taxi to the ramp.
12. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle
of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and
vice versa.
13. Never let an aircraft get you somewhere your brain didn't get five
minutes earlier.
14. Stay out of the clouds. The silver lining everybody keeps talking
about, might be another airplane going in the opposite direction.
Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out
in clouds.
15. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the
number of take-offs you have made.
16. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing.
Unfortunately no one knows what they are.
17. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience.
The trick is to fill the bag of experience, before you empty your bag of
luck.
18. Helicopters can't fly. They are just so ugly the earth repels them.
19. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round
and round, and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger
compartment, things are not as they should be.
20. In the ongoing battle between airplanes going hundreds of miles per
hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to loose.
21. Good judgement comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience
usually comes from bad judgement.
22. It is always a good idea to keep the pointed end going forward as
much as possible.
23. Keep looking around. There is always something you've missed.
24. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It is the law. And it's
not subject to repeal.
25. The four most useless things to a pilot are altitude above you,
runway behind you, air in the fuel tank and a tenth of a second ago.
26. Lastly, always check the runway number; then double check!
  #2  
Old September 20th 08, 02:31 AM posted to alt.binaries.pictures.aviation
Bruce R
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 316
Default A little humor....

You know so much of this also applies to the R/C world as well.


Bruce



"Canuck" wrote in message
...
1. Every take-off is optional, every landing is mandatory.
2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the
stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick
all the way back, then they get bigger again.
3. Flying is not dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous!
4. High speeds are not dangerous. Coming to a sudden stop is dangerous!
5. It is always better to be down here, wishing you were up there, than up
there wishing to be down here!
6. The only time you have too much fuel on board, is when you are on fire.
7. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the airplane, used to keep
the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start
sweating.
8. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with
the sky.
9. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing
is one after which they can use the airplane again.
10. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make
all of them yourself.
11. You know you have landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to
taxi to the ramp.
12. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of
arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice
versa.
13. Never let an aircraft get you somewhere your brain didn't get five
minutes earlier.
14. Stay out of the clouds. The silver lining everybody keeps talking
about, might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable
sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.
15. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number
of take-offs you have made.
16. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing.
Unfortunately no one knows what they are.
17. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The
trick is to fill the bag of experience, before you empty your bag of luck.
18. Helicopters can't fly. They are just so ugly the earth repels them.
19. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and
round, and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger
compartment, things are not as they should be.
20. In the ongoing battle between airplanes going hundreds of miles per
hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to
loose.
21. Good judgement comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience
usually comes from bad judgement.
22. It is always a good idea to keep the pointed end going forward as much
as possible.
23. Keep looking around. There is always something you've missed.
24. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It is the law. And it's not
subject to repeal.
25. The four most useless things to a pilot are altitude above you, runway
behind you, air in the fuel tank and a tenth of a second ago.
26. Lastly, always check the runway number; then double check!


  #3  
Old October 9th 08, 07:05 PM posted to alt.binaries.pictures.aviation
Peter Hucker[_2_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 539
Default A little humor....

Brilliant!

On Fri, 19 Sep 2008 10:14:29 -0500, "Canuck"
wrote:

1. Every take-off is optional, every landing is mandatory.
2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the
stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick
all the way back, then they get bigger again.
3. Flying is not dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous!
4. High speeds are not dangerous. Coming to a sudden stop is dangerous!
5. It is always better to be down here, wishing you were up there, than
up there wishing to be down here!
6. The only time you have too much fuel on board, is when you are on fire.
7. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the airplane, used to
keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot
start sweating.
8. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided
with the sky.
9. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great'
landing is one after which they can use the airplane again.
10. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to
make all of them yourself.
11. You know you have landed with the wheels up if it takes full power
to taxi to the ramp.
12. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle
of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and
vice versa.
13. Never let an aircraft get you somewhere your brain didn't get five
minutes earlier.
14. Stay out of the clouds. The silver lining everybody keeps talking
about, might be another airplane going in the opposite direction.
Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out
in clouds.
15. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the
number of take-offs you have made.
16. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing.
Unfortunately no one knows what they are.
17. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience.
The trick is to fill the bag of experience, before you empty your bag of
luck.
18. Helicopters can't fly. They are just so ugly the earth repels them.
19. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round
and round, and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger
compartment, things are not as they should be.
20. In the ongoing battle between airplanes going hundreds of miles per
hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to loose.
21. Good judgement comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience
usually comes from bad judgement.
22. It is always a good idea to keep the pointed end going forward as
much as possible.
23. Keep looking around. There is always something you've missed.
24. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It is the law. And it's
not subject to repeal.
25. The four most useless things to a pilot are altitude above you,
runway behind you, air in the fuel tank and a tenth of a second ago.
26. Lastly, always check the runway number; then double check!

--
http://www.petersparrots.com http://www.insanevideoclips.com http://www.petersphotos.com

Women are like dog ****, the older they get the easier they are to pick up.
  #4  
Old October 12th 08, 05:34 PM posted to alt.binaries.pictures.aviation
Naaaada!
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1
Default A little humor....

These have all been on the website www.aviation.ca for years now..




On Fri, 19 Sep 2008 10:14:29 -0500, "Canuck"
wrote:

1. Every take-off is optional, every landing is mandatory.
2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the
stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick
all the way back, then they get bigger again.
3. Flying is not dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous!
4. High speeds are not dangerous. Coming to a sudden stop is dangerous!
5. It is always better to be down here, wishing you were up there, than
up there wishing to be down here!
6. The only time you have too much fuel on board, is when you are on fire.
7. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the airplane, used to
keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot
start sweating.
8. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided
with the sky.
9. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great'
landing is one after which they can use the airplane again.
10. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to
make all of them yourself.
11. You know you have landed with the wheels up if it takes full power
to taxi to the ramp.
12. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle
of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and
vice versa.
13. Never let an aircraft get you somewhere your brain didn't get five
minutes earlier.
14. Stay out of the clouds. The silver lining everybody keeps talking
about, might be another airplane going in the opposite direction.
Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out
in clouds.
15. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the
number of take-offs you have made.
16. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing.
Unfortunately no one knows what they are.
17. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience.
The trick is to fill the bag of experience, before you empty your bag of
luck.
18. Helicopters can't fly. They are just so ugly the earth repels them.
19. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round
and round, and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger
compartment, things are not as they should be.
20. In the ongoing battle between airplanes going hundreds of miles per
hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to loose.
21. Good judgement comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience
usually comes from bad judgement.
22. It is always a good idea to keep the pointed end going forward as
much as possible.
23. Keep looking around. There is always something you've missed.
24. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It is the law. And it's
not subject to repeal.
25. The four most useless things to a pilot are altitude above you,
runway behind you, air in the fuel tank and a tenth of a second ago.
26. Lastly, always check the runway number; then double check!

 




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