Flying into Las Vegas

what's a NY minute?
A very, very short minute.

A Midwesterner is on his first trip to NY. As he wanders through the
city, he is looking for the sights to see. He stops a passer-by and
asks: "Excuse me, Sir, could you please tell me where the Empire State
Building is, or should I just go f... myself?" That's New York!


The first time I was in NY my friends and I were lost and were looking
for something to eat (on the way to a Yankees game). We were walking
by a firehouse and decided to ask for help:

us: Howdy! (pause) How's it going?
firemen: (wierd look) ok
us: Can you help us out? We're looking for a decent place to eat,
pizza maybe and directions to the subway. We're going to the Yankees
game.
firemen: You're not from around here are you?
us: uh...no. We're from California. Why?
firemen: Because you talk to slow. And too nice.
us: errr...
firemen: Here in NY you say "Yo- where's the nearest pizza joint"

So they then proceeded to give us a brief tutorial on how to act in
NY. Nice guys, in a NY sort of way : )

-lance smith