Dropping an bombs.....the f-bomb on frequency

Dave D wrote:
My club pre-solo phase check consisted of 2 hours of sarcastic comments
about all the ways I would have killed myself, or busted either the airplane
or class B airspace. When it was done, after bouncing the landing and
struggling to expedite the Citabria off the runway for landing traffic, I
unconsciously vocalized the only thought my brain could construct: *god
dammit!*. Unfortunately, I was still holding the mic key... The check CFI
was laughing his ass off.


All right, now that we're in the mood:

I was flying cancelled checks on a regular run between RDU and CLT and as I
usually did first, stopped into the RDU FSS to check out the weather radar.
There was an ominous line of thunderstorms between Raleigh and Charlotte, but I
could see a spot where the line appeared pretty thin. I figured I could grit it
through and then I'd be in the clear on the backside. Going around wasn't
really an option, the line was longer than the whole flight.

I took off and turned onto course, heading towards a huge black line of clouds.
I was still in the clear but apparent doom was rapidly approaching. Approach
called and wanted to know if I was interested in deviating: "Delta went to XYZ
and USAIr went to ZYX, etc...." I thanked him but said no, I thought I'd
continue on. As I got closer and closer I began to regret my decision. I was
getting more lonely than the Maytag repairman.

In the meanwhile I did those things pilots do when faced with oncoming heavy
turbulence: reduced power, slowed down, lowered my seat all the way, put my hat
on, turned up the lights to full brightness, and tightened up my seatbelt as
tight as I could make it. I was ready but I'll admit to being scared. I
entered the clouds.

Turbulence was mild for a bit, then I felt a loooooong steady updraft. "Here we
go", I thought. I had a death grip on the yoke. There was a slight bump and
then I was back in calm air. I couldn't believe my luck. Raleigh Approach
called again: "Report your flight conditions, please". I told them I was in
pretty smooth air but solid IFR at 4,000 feet. "I'm surprised", he said, "you
know Delta diverted to XYZ and USAir diverted to ZYX".

"Yeah, I know", I said, "but those guys are pussies".



--
Mortimer Schnerd, RN

VE