FWIW, Moller Again ?

On Jul 7, 4:05 pm, Ernest Christley wrote:

Somebody help me out here...

Flying Bumper Cars...very kewl! Try them also on the I-20 here in
Dallas during late afternoon rush hour!

It will be so much fun watching them shoot back and forth across lanes
of traffic, passing back and forth under unsuspecting Semis and those
blue and yellow Airport Shuttle vans.

They'll be the latest road rage! People in Los Angeles will have to
put away their Smith and Wessons and start carrying Triple A (the Anti-
Aircraft Gun, not the Automotive Road Service...) for when they get
cut off by one. Come to think of it, they might also want the other
Triple A as well...

Can you imagine one of these "hovercraft" in the drive through at
McDonald's? They pull forward to the windows and blast the poor fry
cooks with hot oil and french fries while they hover to pay. The girl-
at-the-window's hair looking like the Bride of Frankenstein after you
drive away; her face and makeup as done by Mary Kay in a NASA
centrifuge.

Imagine an aerial vehicle more "takeoff- and landing-challenged" than
the lowly Albatross.

Finally, the Gooney Birds of Midway Island will have their revenge...

....now, if they could just feed video of the carnage to National
Geographic, Gooney Bird life would be perfect!

As any Gooney Bird would tell you: what goes around comes
around...and around...and around...and around...

On second thought, let's not go down that road! Er, skyway! Er, Jet
Route!

Vanity wise, the good news is: the only two places in the World that
you'll go unnoticed are Edwards AFB and Area 51 !

The bad news is, the only two places in the World that you'll go
unnoticed are (Everyone!) Edwards AFB and Area 51 !

And how about those Vanity plates! Like: "Tubular," "Circular,"
"Frisbee" and my personal favorite:

"SPLAT!"

Perhaps thrusters would be the solution for the uphill/downhill issue?

In lieu of thrusters, I think JATO Rockets would do nicely! Like that
rookie pitcher in the movie Bull Durham, announce your presence with
authority! Especially where the Sepulveda Blvd tunnel goes beneath
25R/25L at LAX!

Or, if you really needed to stop, one could always Velcro the anchor?
But once the hooks are on your hovercraft, where do you find the
fuzzies? (Behind the billboard with a radar gun, laughing hsyterically
and feeling so bad for you they wouldn't dare pull you over in your
time of unmitigated shame...)

Okay! I'm game!

Just tell me where I can buy insurance...

Oh, and who regulates these things? NASA, the FAA, the DMV or MIT?

I mean, propulsion has got to be based on Newton's Laws of Physics,
right? You go to the garage, ignore the burly greasy-covered mechanic
with his Mr. Goodwrench Certificate, and look for the 12 year old with
the pocket protector, the slide rule...

....and a Master's Degree in Aeronautics & Astronautics!

You don't plan your trips using Mapquest...you have to plan your
navigation after reading books by a guy named Minnesota Fats! (For
those of you born after Minnesota Fats passed away: "Billiards
Player!")

Oh, if only John McDonnell had a fingernail of Donald Douglas' vision,
he would have shut down the MD-11 production line and started
producing ...

....I'm sorry ~ what was that damned thing callled?

The Krispy Creme Kamikaze!!?? Shaped like a doughnut with a hole in
the middle and it makes you weightless?

Seriously! The finally found a way to make those with Splenda?

Didn't the swimming pool industry already come out with something like
that. Inflatable, you wear it around your stomach, jump in the pool
and if your head isn't too big, you don't capsize and drown with
Celine Dion singing in your head as you grey out?

You know..."floaties!"

Why spend millions on development and hundreds of thousands of dollars
to buy one of these, when all you have to do is go down to Wal Mart,
buy an innertube, fill it with helium, hang Christmas lights on it,
and call yourself the "Goodyear Blimplet."

That, or a lawn chair and a whole lot of helium balloons! Or if in
Albuquerque during the Festival, Animal Balloons!

And then, comes the issue of people driving/flying one of these and
talking on the cell phone at the same time.

"ET...phone home."

Wow! Talk about your party line! rimshot!

You get pulled over by the Cops for drunk driving...you were seen
driving straight.

The only thing "Green" about them is the driver, and that's after
about twelve minutes on a one-way street. Reminds me of that Robin
Williams joke from Bicentennial Man:

"A woman calls her husband on his cell phone and tells him: Honey!
The TV just said there's a driver going the wrong way down the
freeway! Her husband responds:

One!? There's hundreds of them!"

Or how about those commercials:

Q: "Pardon me, but do you have any Grey Poupon!?

A: "Are you kidding! It's all over the COCKPIT!" rimshot!

Ahnold vudn't appre-she-ate daht. At least, not until they built the
Hummer version.

A "Sqvare Pehg in uh Round Travvic Circul!" Ahnold vould appre-she-
ate daht!

"Out of Ground Effect?"

Posh! "Sound of Impact" is all you really have to worry about! And
in those moments, just wear ear plugs!

Has this helped any?

No?

Sorry...you could always walk! Or use your Rocket Pack! g

As for me, I'll take the rec.aviation.train!