Low-Tech Grenades A Danger to Helicopters

"Alan Minyard" wrote in message
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On 19 Nov 2003 02:51:48 GMT, (Dav1936531) wrote:

And the combat record of the Sunburn is???? The USN has no need nor
use for such a weapon.

And you have no Idea what the USN can or cannot counter.

Al Minyard

Nope. There is no known counter for the Sunburn missile.

You see, the Sunburn missile is one of the cleverest, most devious creations
known to man. It is completely demoralizing and tantamount to a WMD. US
diplomats have repeatedly protested its testing, but to no avail.

Since the early 90's, the Russians have been equiping each of their ships
with a classified number of overweight Russian veterans of the Great
Patriotic War. These veterans are chosen carefully. Only the ones who have
just recently returned from vacation on the Black Sea are selected. As
usual, these veterans have sunbathed too much, turning themselves an unholy
pink-red color. Some reports indicate that Russian scientists actually put
these selected individuals thru another radiation treatment to increase the
specularity of their skin, but this hasn't been confirmed.

On orders from Moscow. and only on orders directly form Moscow, a Russian
ship will load one of these veterans in to a launching tube. The veteran
then disrobes down to the black skin-tight skivvy he was wearing on the
beach by the Black Sea. With confirmation from Moscow, the ship launches the
veteran so that he passes directly over the intended target area, usually an
enemy ship or fleet.

The affect is devestating. The approach completely demoralizing. Most
sailors above decks jump overboard when they see this hideous, glowing
creature approaching at such a high speed. The fear is infectuous. Few can
withstand the impulse to abandon ship or commit suicide. Just when the
veteran is passing over the target, and the sailors, the ones who survived
the approach with some neurological facilities still intact, are just about
to breath a sigh of relief, it happens. The veteran removes his skivvy.

Nobody, not even the Russians, know the full affect of a Sunburn missile
once the hurtling veteran has removed his skin-tight bathing suit. Nobody
has been found from a target area who could describe the experience. It is
rumored that a few years ago, the US Navy once found a Russian frigate
floating freely on the high seas in the North Pacific. The entire crew was
dead, apparently most had died from self-inflicted wounds. There was no
conclusive evidence, but the Navy strongly suspected that one of their
veterans had accidentally gone off, maybe even removed his skivvy.
Consultations at the highest diplomatic levels followed this discovery, and
the whole incident has been hushed up.

You see, there is no known defense against such a diabolical weapon system.
There is no hope.